i thought, hey i can leave, i can leave oh...

but now i know that i was wrong. oh brother. confusion to the max. wonderful things and then, not so wonderful things. waiting for the click and wondering if maybe it's actually waiting for me. but it's not possible to make a mistake, right? right. whatever is meant to happen, happens. and no matter what, saying that and believing that truly does make me feel better. more confident. and more confident because of the fact that i'm NOT in control. the last thing i want to be is in control, because i'm pretty sure that i'm bound to screw it up. but i also feel that there are necessary measures to take in order to get things out of your own hands and into the Hands they belong in. at least, that is what i'm hoping. all i know is, please don't put me in charge. i'm really not so great at that.